


Mistletoe and Charmed Pinecones

by Lillymoid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bratty Albus Severus Potter, Charmed Mistletoe, Christmas, Covered in Glitter, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Glitter, Glitter Fights, Harmless Pranks, Holidays, Mischief, Multi, Singing, annoying everyone, so much glitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 16:20:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21930289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lillymoid/pseuds/Lillymoid
Summary: Teddy Lupin comes up with an idea to help Al enjoy the holidays. Perhaps Al ends up having too much fun. He sets things straight to get a happily ever after.
Relationships: Dean Thomas/Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Teddy Lupin/Albus Severus Potter
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39
Collections: Snarry Christmas Pre-2020





	Mistletoe and Charmed Pinecones

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Snarry5evr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snarry5evr/gifts).



> To S5: I had too much fun with this. Hope you enjoy! Happy holiday! I love ya and hope it makes you smile. Damn antics of Slytherin Potter. It's nearly all fluff. What's wrong with me? This is your present. 
> 
> Everyone: Hope you enjoy as much as I enjoyed writing this one shot! Happy Holidays!

"Al? What's wrong?" Teddy asked his god brother who was laying on the bed. "Harry said you were in here."

"Just watching," Albus said not sure how to feel. He didn't even know what was wrong. Maybe he should've felt something when he saw his mum making out with Dean Thomas. Maybe he should've been upset seeing his best friend hit on his sister. Maybe he should've been happy that his crush had found some semblance of love and understand it was never meant to be. It was probably that he was disappointed in himself more than anything.

"I don't see anything," Teddy said laying down next to Albus Severus Potter his best friend even if Al and him were no longer as close as they were when they were younger.

"How's Victoire?" Al asked changing the subject.

"Alright, she's moving out to France something about spending time with her grandparents," Teddy said with a shrug not caring too much. He couldn't understand why Al cared. "How Scorpius?"

"Being the fuck boy he is. Think he had his eyes on someone in the family, think it was Lily," Al said. He felt numb feeling closed off from everything.

"You going to help with Christmas? I heard everyone is going to be here," Teddy said in an attempt to cheer Al up.

"Ah yes, Jamie and his newest conquests, Dad pretending he doesn't see mum and Dean practically fucking under the mistletoe, Lily and her gang of friends screaming all different types of things, Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron trying to talk dad into a divorce only to hear he's together for the kids and loves his wife, and Scorpius being a mixture of a love sick puppy or a fuck boy he pretends he is. Sounds like a blast," Al said the sarcasm heavy in the air. "At least Rose and Hugo will be going somewhere else not wanting to suffer another famous Potter Christmas."

"Didn't talk about yourself and I'll always be there," Teddy said not understanding what exactly had Al so upset.

"Thought you would be spending it with Victoire as you have been the last few years. I was just hoping to hide out in my room," Al said already dreading the holiday he'd pretend he enjoyed for the sake of his family and friends.

"Well, I heard Draco Malfoy is coming this year. How about we charm some mistletoe?" Teddy asked trying to get Al to smile.

"Only if we can do exploding pine cones," Al said with a slight smile remembering the one year they had done so.

"Covered in glitter you have a deal. Maybe we can even dress Kreature up, that elf loves you," Teddy said.

"And hates everyone else. Apparently being in Slytherin is enough for him to like my name. We should get going."

○○○○

"Al, I have a crazy idea. Remember the Christmas song Fred and George sing every year? We should charm it everywhere and drive people insane."

"Okay, so how should we do it?" Al asked thinking of it. 

"Every time someone says something in reference to the holiday or a name used in the song it will play from there. So start with Percy, Hermione, Neville, and so forth," Teddy explained cause a smile to stretch on Al's face.

"Even better, whenever someone moves between doorways have it play like one of those muggle singing cards." Al said his eyes lit up thinking of it. "I'll do the doorways and you do the pine cones. We'll start with the first day it sings the first part and as it goes it sings more and more. Kreature already has anti-apparation wards up in the house, so they can't get around it."

"No wonder you were sorted into Slytherin. If we hang up the mistletoe in the doorways and charm it so you can only leave by a kiss it would make it even better." Teddy liked seeing the twinkle in Al's eyes as they worked through it. 

On the First day of Christmas,  
Percy gave to me:  
A lecture all about the Ministry.

•

On the Secund day of Christmas,  
Hermione gave to me:  
Two homeworks helpers,  
And a lecture all about the Ministry.

•

On the Third day of Christmas,  
Neville gave to me:  
Three vulture hats,  
Two homeworks helpers,  
And a lecture all about the Ministry.

"Al, what is up with that singing?" Harry asked coming through the door way into the living room to hear it once again.

"On the Third day of Christmas, Neville gave to me: Three vulture hats, Two homeworks helpers, And a lecture all about the Ministry," Al sung way too excited about a holiday he normally hated.

"What are you planning?" Harry asked his middle child only to have Al hug him out of the blue.

"You know you don't have to stay with mum for us. We know full well what's been happening and we would want you to be happy. That means more to us than anything else."

•

On the Fourth day of Christmas,  
Hagrid gave to me:  
Four Flobber-worms,  
three vulture hats,  
two homeworks helpers,  
and a lecture all about the Ministry.

•

On the Fifth day of Christmas,  
Harry gave to me:  
Five Golden Snitches,  
Four Flobber-worms,  
Three vulture hats,  
Two homeworks helpers,  
And a lecture all about the Ministry.

•

On the Six day of Christmas,  
Lockhart gave to me:  
Six signed portraits,  
Five Golden Snitches,  
Four Flobber-worms,  
Three vulture hats,  
Two homeworks helpers,  
And a lecture all about the Ministry.

○○○○

Albus Severus Potter knocked on a worn door to a run down looking place but he could feel the intense glamor and privacy spells. He could even feel the spell to make the place appear muggle as possible. The more he sensed the more he thought he was at the right place. On his seventh knock Severus Snape finally opened the door.

"When someone ignores the first two knocks it means go away and not to continue knocking," Severus growled glaring at the man standing on the door. He seemed unaffected by it and shrugged. 

"Unless they're looking for a hermit such as yourself. I knew it was you by all the wards. Am I going to be standing out here all day while I convince you of my plan? Unless of course you don't want to hear how this benefits you?" Al asked smirking when the man seemed taken aback. He was a slytherin and knew how to use it well. Severus Snape was a man who loved knowledge and if he thought someone would have something good for him he had a less chance of throwing him out.

"Oh yes, a groupie. How did you get past the ward for that one," Severus's glare increased yet didn't seem to affect the young man at all.

"Didn't have to. The wards are rather specific and not that hard to get around," Al said with a shrug hoping to increase the interest so the professor would talk to him.

"I didn't miss a single thing in my wards," Severus hissed but opened the door and letting him in anyway.

"Then how did I get through?" Al asked trying his best to look innocent. He wasn't sure if the retired professor believed him or not. He looked around hoping to get a feel and see how his plan would be received. "Got a fascination with the boy-who-defeated?" He could see the pictures of his father around but was glad it wasn't their entire family because it would make this conversation all the harder.

"Who doesn't? The press is filled with his day to day nonsense." Al watched as Severus Snape threw a paper onto the ground obviously thinking it to be trash. Al took the chance to pick it up and saw his mother in it along with lots of angry comments written on it by the potion master.

"Seems as your not fond of his wife. Mrs Harry Potter," Al said mocking the stupid title as they all did. It was worse as they had heard the term more than once from Ginny Potter herself.

"So, what about it? If anything it just proves how easy he's manipulated but I doubted you came here to talk about the famous wizard who defeated the dark lord," Severus said mocking not sure why this young man was here or why he was talking about Harry Potter. He didn't even know how the man got through his wards. Although he seemed to dislike Mrs Harry Potter as much as he did.

"If anything you have to give her perks for her clever use of a lust potion. Of course it's not confirmed but everyone who knew Harry Potter knew he was gay," Al said briefly looking towards the potion master trying to figure out a response. Al looked at one of the prophets on the wall and let out a laugh. "One of my favorites."

"What? The whole time travel theory?" Severus asked seeing where the young man's eyes wandered.

"Yes, everyone knows Ginny Potter isn't that smart but she isn't that dumb."

"Fine, sit. What was this plan of yours is about?" Severus asked gesturing to the chair across from him.

"Want you to answer a question for me, first before I tell. Need to know if I'm wasting my time or not. Do you love Harry Potter, romantically?" Al asked reading the man's face for any sign. He saw a slight look of fear and hid his triumph. That would be a yes.

"So what if I did," Severus bit back before realizing what he said. "Now go run to the prophet and spill the secret."

"Nah, I hate the prophet more than the rest of my family, except maybe my dad. So, Severus Snape, what questions do you have for me?" Albus asked with a smirk. "I'll answer them all."

"Who are you? How did you get past my wards? What is this stupid plan of yours?" Severus asked.

"Name is Albus Potter, dad does not know how to name people. As getting past your wards was easy. They didn't affect me as my name is Severus, although that's my middle name. Now this stupid plan of mine is to reunite you and my dad and hope da finally gets the divorce we've been pushing for years," Al said happily surprised by the reaction of the older man. 

"How do I know you're not lying?" Severus's eyes zoned in on Al's. He put a slight push of legilimency into it and was surprised when he fell in. Soon he had the whole plan in his head given by Albus Severus Potter. "How does this plan benefit me?"

"I thought you would have wanted to be reunited with your lost love. It's no secret my mum is with someone else. I guess I'll just go," Al said pretending to look upset and leaving.

"Fine, give me the damned portkey," Severus said holding out his hand to receive it. 

"Also here are the divorce papers. See you at Christmas, step father," Al said before disappearing with a laugh.

○○○○

On the Seventh day of Christmas,  
Mundugus gave to me:  
Seven stolen cauldrons,  
Six signed portraits,  
Five Golden Snitches,  
Four Flobber-worms,  
Three vulture hats,  
Two homeworks helpers,  
And a lecture all about the Ministry.

"Where were you, Al?" Teddy said looking like his dad but once again forgetting the glasses and the scar was far to pronounced.

"You're really bad at that. You forgot the glasses again. I was only helping to set up a bit more dismay for Christmas."

•

On the Eighth day of Christmas,  
Won-Won gave to me:  
Eight outdated dress robes,  
Seven stolen cauldrons,  
Six signed portraits,  
Five Golden Snitches,  
Four Flobber-worms,  
Three vulture hats,  
Two homeworks helpers,  
And a lecture all about the Ministry.

"How did you know Ron was going to be here, today? The verse has been going nonstop and he keeps looking for whoever it was," Teddy said entering Al's room.

"A lucky guess and a rather vague yet well worded letter," Al said getting a laugh from Teddy.

"If I didn't know better I'd say you are rather excited for the holiday."

"How is the pinecone glitter bombs and mistletoe coming along?"

"Rather well, how about Kreature? You two had some plans?"

"Yes, and they're all in place. Now to just wait for Christmas to arrive." Al looked at the ceiling. He couldn't wait for the reaction of Severus Snape arriving. He was just lucky every five years that set presents under the tree for him and this year happened to be one.

"Well, here's to getting you started," Teddy said and he soon saw mistletoe hover above his head. "My own personal favourite. Only can be broken by a true love's kiss."

"How does that work?" Al asked looking annoyed. "Need Victoire to kiss you to test it out?" Al asked his bitterness finally getting the better of him.

"What? Toire? Gross. No. Just, that's gross Al. I'm gay as gay as can be," Teddy said looking at him in disbelief. "Is that why you hate her?"

"What? Of course not," Al said hoping to hide his blush. "You're family as is she, Teddy."

"So nothing will happen if I kiss you?" Teddy asked. He grabbed the back of Al's head to stop him from running and kissed him. He gave out a laugh when the mistletoe fell onto Al's head.

"So, doesn't mean anything. Probably charmed it wrong."

"Fine, I'll wear one and kiss everyone until it falls," Teddy said grabbing the mistletoe and putting it above his head. He saw Al give a sigh and kiss him making the mistletoe fall causing them both to laugh.

•

On the Ninth day of Christmas,  
Lee Jordan gave to me:  
Nine Nosebleed Nougats,  
Eight outdated dress robes,  
Seven stolen cauldrons,  
Six signed portraits,  
Five Golden Snitches,  
Four Flobber-worms,  
Three vulture hats,  
Two homeworks helpers,  
And a lecture all about the Ministry.

•

On the Tenth day of Christmas,  
Ginny gave to me:  
Ten Bat-Bogey hexes,  
Nine Nosebleed Nougats,  
Eight outdated dress robes,  
Seven stolen cauldrons,  
Six signed portraits,  
Five Golden Snitches,  
Four Flobber-worms,  
Three vulture hats,  
Two homeworks helpers,  
And a lecture all about the Ministry.

•

On the Eleventh day of Christmas,  
Sirius gave to me:  
Eleven shrunken elf heads,  
Ten Bat-Bogey hexes,  
Nine Nosebleed Nougats,  
Eight outdated dress robes,  
Seven stolen cauldrons,  
Six signed portraits,  
Five Golden Snitches,  
Four Flobber-worms,  
Three vulture hats,  
Two homeworks helpers,  
And a lecture all about the Ministry.

○○○○

"If I hear that song-" Ginny was cut off by singing after she crossed the doorway.

On the Twelfth day of Christmas,  
My dears mum gave to me:  
Twelve more ugly sweaters,  
Eleven shrunken elf heads,  
Ten Bat-Bogey hexes,  
Nine Nosebleed Nougats,  
Eight outdated dress robes,  
Seven stolen cauldrons,  
Six signed portraits,  
Five Golden Snitches,  
Four Flobber-worms,  
Three vulture hats,  
Two homeworks helpers,  
And a lecture all about the Ministry.

"When I find out who did that I'm going to curse you with the bat-bogey hex," Ginny threatened. Al, Teddy, Scorpius, Draco, and Jamie all laughed at her retreating form.

"So who did put that up?"

"As if I know and if I did it wouldn't be worth that hex," Jamie said holding his hands up. Al and Teddy were glad that Jamie was the normal prankster. They heard screaming from the kitchen that could only be Ginny. They all ran to see ignoring the singing but Al had an idea.

"Kreature, what are you wearing?" Ginny asked applauded looking at the red and green stripes outfit and the pointy hat with bells and glitter covered in it. As it stood the elf looked rather happy about it. Scorpius, Al, Teddy, Jamie, Draco, and Harry who had just joined them started laughing.

"This isn't funny!" Ginny demands only to bring more family over who arrived by floo.

"What isn't funny?" Ron, Fred, and George asked entering the room only to burst out laughing.

"She's right this isn't funny, this is hilarious. I knew you had it in you, Harry," Fred said leaning against Harry.

"Oh, this wasn't me," Harry said holding his hands up in defence.

"Are the twins singing already?" Hermione asked annoyed bringing them all to the twelfth day of Christmas.

"No, but now we will," George and Fred said together only to wink at them.

•

Al looked around trying to hide his constant laughter. No one had set off the pinecone bombs off yet or the dancing candy canes. They all skipped breakfast and would be eating lunch after opening presents and Harry was soon at the biggest box. As expected, Lily had two of her friends over, Jamie and his boyfriend were cuddled under some mistletoe they hadn't seen yet, Scorpius looking like a love sick puppy, while Ginny and Dean were surprisingly not making out yet but were curled up while Hermione and Ron looked disapproving at them.

"Your turn Harry," Ron said, pointing to the large box which was placed strategically underneath mistletoe. Al hadn't mentioned the present to anyone.

"Hey, can you throw a pinecone at someone when dad opens the box?" Al whispered to George who nodded seriously. Planning on making Ginny and Draco the victims after talking to his twin. Harry opened the box that was underneath the mistletoe when a Severus Snape appeared from inside. Harry being trapped in the mistletoe until a kiss.

"This is from your son who you apparently named after the headmaster," Severus Snape drawled as he attempted to leave he was stuck. The divorce papers in his hand obvious. Draco and Ginny both screamed when they were hit with pinecones which exploded into glitter.

"Weasley," Draco said with a growl throwing a pinecone fight having the room erupt into a full out glitter fight. Which Al saw Kreture bring more charmed pinecones in.

"How many did you charm?" Al asked Teddy quietly. 

"I bought a lot. Maybe like two thousand," Teddy said with a shrug before pointing to Harry who was kissing Severus Snape. It was mostly unseen as everyone was covered in glitter. Al grabbed his own pinecone with one hand and hid it behind his back while he dangled a thing of mistletoe about there head.

"At least we won't run out. Teddy," Albus said smiling seeing the colours of his hair flash between red and green. "Think we got caught." Teddy looked up before kissing Al. When they pulled back he saw a smirk on Al's face and before he could react he was it with a pinecone.

"So, was it a good Christmas?" Teddy asked as they watched the room erupt into glitter pine cones, charmed mistletoe, laughter, and annoying singing of Uncle Fred and George.

"Think it is my favourite by far except for the one where I ask you to marry me," Al said pulling Teddy. lose to him.

"Is that how you're proposing?" Teddy asked annoyed.

"Say, yes, already," Al said only to get a kiss from Teddy.

"Yes, I'll marry you. Happy Christmas, Al."


End file.
